


The cursed one

by Brambles



Series: The One who was left behind [1]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Action, Adventure, Akumas, Allen gets teased, Allen's past, Childhood Friends, Circus, Comedy, English ist not my first language, F/M, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sad, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 02:54:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3794008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brambles/pseuds/Brambles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Allen, Lavi and Lenalee are on a mission and looking for some Innocence but then Allen meets some people who seem familiar. He knows them from his time as he still lived in the circus. But as Allen suddenly disappears after a mission, the chaos has just began...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So that is one of my fanfics that I am now gonna try to translate :D  
> It isn't finished yet but I decided that I wanna have it also in English. So hear it is :D  
> Enjoy it, leave some kudos or a comment ;)  
> [In that chapter are just some quotes from the fanfic. The next chapter is gonna be a "real" prologue. An episode from Allen's past in the circus]

_He seems kind of familiar...._  
  
_Allen, who is that?_  
  
_Ah! You are that brat!_  
  
_Cosimov, don't be so mean!_  
  
_Red...?_  
  
_What did happen with that clown of yours?_  
  
_Sorry, I do not know that name..._  
  
_I've missed you..._  
  
_Mana...._


	2. Prologue 2.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The "real" prologue. Enjoy it :D

The sand under his feet crunched after every step he took. The boy sighed but he continued to walk. The boy was of slight build and he was about seven or eight years old. He had reddish brown hair that he wore as a braid and he also had some brown eyes.

The clothes which the boy wore was definitely not brand new. He wore brown trousers with several patches. The light colour of his shirt had vanished and was now quite brown. And his brown vest had also see some better days. The same applies for his shoes.

That he wore such used and dirty clothes was because of one simple reason: He had no money.  
Okay may be that was kind of extreme. A few coins could be called his property. These were either found by him or stolen. He did spent his money mostly for food.

The reason why he was even still alive was mostly because of the circus. Well it was not like that he found his life-long dream there… No that was it definitely not…  
The boy gave a bitter laugh.

After his parents abandoned him on the streets, well he thought they did because he could not remember what happened to him before his time in the circus, the circus took him in. But he did wonder why he could not remember anything. Did he maybe bump his head anywhere?  
But he was kind of grateful for the circus. Who knew what would had happened to him if he stayed on the streets alone? He could have been dead or may be even something worse. You did not know what kind of fanatics or perverts were on the streets and looking for a easy target.  
But well the boy was definitely no artist and performed in the show but he did some other things for the circus. Some little jobs like feeding the animals or cleaning their cages. The people from the circus rewarded him by giving him food and a place to sleep. His meals were just enough so that he could do his work sloppily.

But it was not like that every day. Because the young boy was one of the rebellious sort, he did often get into trouble. And the result was that he either did not get any food or some hits from the director. Sometimes even both.

But the boy did never complain. It was better living in the circus than on the streets. So he did not really have a choice…

But at the moment he was in a bad mood. Just now, he did get some trouble from one of the zoo-keepers, if he even was one. Apparently he did not clean the cage right. Pah! As if he did not have anything better to do than cleaning some shitty cages. Most likely he would not get any food today. One mouth less to stuff…

Slowly he did distanced himself from the circus. He had no real plan where he was walking. If he would be walking where he was actually sleeping, then that annoying girl was most likely there. She was way too clingy. Or may be that damned boy who tried to badmouth everything that he did. He had some issues. He found himself to be soooo brilliant or whatever. But the boy knew that he was just jealous of him because of that girl who latched herself on to him, by every chance that she got. And it did not matter how often he told her to get lost, she did the same thing every day.  Even when he showed her his deformed weird left arm. It did just help a little. Her reaction was not so extreme like that from other people. In her eyes he could only see shock. Most people called him a monster or devil’s child. But he did not really care… Most likely his parents also thought of him that way.   
‘Damned bastards’, thought the boy.  
How everything was annoying to him.

The boy continued to walk. The area seemed kind of dead. He looked up and saw a men in dark clothes. He had red long hair.   
Was he a priest? But since when did they smoke?  
The man seemed kind of like a loafer…

Actually, he wanted to ignore him and walk straight, to look for a place where he could stay for the rest of the day. May be he could even find a way to get some more coins. So that he could buy something to eat.  
But nooo that hobo had to talk to him… Of course…

“Oy, brat”, began the man and that not in a friendly voice.  
The boy looked at him with uninterested. He could not really imagine that that person was a priest… May be from some sick sect? Yeah, that could be true…   
The member of a sect did already get on his nerves.   
Hopefully he did not have some weird fetishes and wanted to try them on him. Then the boy would just show his left arm and voila he would be rid of him. But that would be annoying.   
“What?” he asked annoyed.

It seemed like hate at first sight. The man did not answer him.   
“Oy old man. I don’t wanna be here forever. So if ya want anything just spill it. If not, clear off!” was the boy’s cheeky answer.  
Surprised the man raised his eyebrows. Never did anybody talk to him like that!  
“Oy brat, learn some respect!”  
“Yeah yeah. I’ll write in my notebook…” was the uninterested answer.

You could definitely see that the man was annoyed. He would really like to kick that boy… But he did not have time for such “pleasantries”.  
He tried to calm himself and asked the boy: “Do you know some clown called Mana?”  
The boy looked up. Did he not hear that name somewhere..?  
Ah! That was that new freak! He was really weird. He did exchange some words with him. He was actually the only one who was kind towards him and did not get in his nerves, like that annoying girl…

“And what if I do?” he asked impolite.  
You could see that the member of a sect was about to explode.   
“Just stay away from him, okay?”  
Annoyed the boy sighed.   
“Oy old man, I don’t know from which kind of sick sect ya came. But ya gettin’ on my nerves. Ya don’t need to worry with who I talk or whateva. And if that’s that freak. Fine! Who cares! Ya are some joke… Haven’t even seen something like that in the circus…”

The boy did turn around. He thought that it was getting too dumb. He would be rather in the circus with the annoying girl and that dumb zoo-keeper, even that stupid clown…  
The man was thinking if he should grab the boy but he did not do it. He would probably try to strangle him. He was getting some headaches from this brat.   
“I’ve warned you brat!” was the only thing he shouted.  
The boy raised his hand and only said: “Yeah member of sect. Everything is fine”

The man grinded his teeth. If he would ever see that boy again, and he was sure that the two of them will meet again, he would make the pay. Nobody did talk to him in that kind of way. He was not just anybody. He was Marion freaking Cross. One of the generals of the Black Order.

But the boy did forget this meeting not shortly after. And so even his words and his warning. Had he thought about these words, may be than his life could have been changed. But that is something he would never know.

_Some weeks later_

On the floor you could see some snow. The winter had begun. Well it was the 25th December. The year was about to end. And this is one day the reddish brown haired boy would never ever forget.

Behind him he could hear how the explosion went off. It was so loud he thought that it would destroy his hearing. Through the pressure of the explosion, he was hurled some metres ahead. He fell flat on his face. He tried to get up. Some ash fell on his head.  
Why did that happen? Who did something like that? And what were these weird beings?

The boy who was normally so cheeky and rebellious was scared. Everywhere laid some dead people. Everywhere was blood. He was scared that he would soon be sharing this fate. They killed humans! What the hell is happening?

And again an explosion went off and now you could even hear a laugh. It sent a chill down the boy’s spine. Some tears were trailing his cheeks. He did not want to die…  
He saw how the big top was set on fire. That was once his home…

Suddenly he heard some footsteps. Scared he turned around. Did they want to kill him next? Would he now be looking in the eyes of the one who will be killing him? He saw a figure and it was getting nearer. Soon he recognized the man. It was the clown. Mana. In the last few weeks he did build up a close relationship with him. He as the only one who did accept him. The boy liked him.

But something in the look of his eyes was weird. He seemed so…mad.   
“A…Allen. There you are. C’mon, we’ve got to go. We wanted to look for my brother, right?” asked Mana with a weird voice.  
The boy seemed confused. In his head appeared the image of a little dog. But that dog died not long ago. _Allen._  
The Boy looked toward Mana and said with a trembling voice: “Y…Yeah. I am Allen… L-Let’s go Mana. We are going to search your b…brother.”

The man smiled, took the ‘Allen’’s hand and left the battlefield with him.  
For the first time in his life, did the boy feel secure and safe. And in that kind of situation. They passed corpses and rubbles. Out of the city. Without anybody’s notice.

And then ‘Allen’ decided to begin a new life. With a new life. He was going to be a new person. And this time he was not lonely… He had Mana.

“Let’s go _Allen_ ”

 


	3. The beginning

Three teenagers walked through the city centre of a busy city in England. It was near the capital, London. The distance between these two cities were only a few hours but not that many people knew of it. The city was not that known. Because it was rather ordinary. There were a lot of houses, some companies and people who were or lived there. Because the city had not much to show, tourists rarely visited.

But today, three teenager walked through this city. Because of their appearances, they were not inconspicuous. These three teenagers were one girl and two boys. One of the boys had red hair, one green eye because the other one was hidden by an eye-patch, he also wore an orange scarf and a green bandana. The girl of the group had short green hair and violet eyes. Her hair did she wear without any hairpins and the length of her hair was until her shoulders. The third one of the teenagers was the one who was the most conspicuous. He got many glances because of his outer appearance. He had white hair and grey eyes, over his left eye he had red scar. On his left ear he wore a golden earring. And a golden golem flew around him the whole time. They had one similarity:  All three of them wore a uniform from the Black Order. That you could see on the Black Order’s silver symbol. The white haired boy who was called Allen also wore some gloves. But that was because of his left hand.

Silently they walked through the street of the city centre.   
“I really hope that we did not come here unnecessary…” sighed Allen.  
Lavi however said: “Oh come on! But Allen… do you know about what I was thinkin’ about? Was Road actually your first kiss? And I mean if she was the first girl who kissed you.”

Lenalee and Allen stood rooted to the spot. They were quite shocked. They did not expect such a question.

“How do you get such an idea or better such a question?” was Allen’s shocked answer or rather question.

The red haired boy only shrugged and waited for his answer to his first question. He also had a smile on his face which could not mean something good.  
The girl of that trio did get a blush on her face.

Her only reaction was a cry of “Lavi!”

But it would be a lie if she sad that she would not be curious. She was not keenly interested, just a little bit.   
She did think that it was kind of bizarre that the Noah held such an affection towards the cursed exorcist.

After all, Allen and her, were friends and fought against a powerful enemy who wanted to erase humanity… And there were times when friendship flourished into love… How the heck did she get that idea??   
Slowly she shook her head and looked towards Allen, kind of excited to hear his answer. The same counted for Lavi. An old memory flashed through Allen’s mind and his face was getting redder.

“T-That’s got nothing to do with you!” was his only answer and walked quickly away.

“Oho~ Allen is getting some blush!! What does that mean~??” asked Lavi while smirking.

“J-Just shut up Lavi!” said the white haired boy and pouted. The colour of his face did not change. He was still red.

Lenalee was briefly confused and looked towards the cursed exorcist.

She and Lavi walked behind the white haired boy and Bookman junior hummed: “Allen has a girlfriend! Allen has a girlfriend~!”

Until he suddenly stopped and said: “So… General Cross has rubbed off on poor Allen-chan… Who would have fought that?”

“That’s got nothing to do with Shishou…” mumbled Allen.

“That’s interesting! Now all of your dirty secrets from your past are coming to light~”, and Lavi begun to laugh.

“Baka Lavi”, mumbled the young man.

Silently the three of them continued their way. The silence was only interrupted by Lavi’s whistling who was in a really good mood.

“I don’t really think that there are any Akumas in this city. There is nothing exceptional about it. There are not even living many people in it and there were no weird incidents that could be involved with Innocence… Nor any rumours. I think we should contact the headquarters…” said Allen.

“Yeah, that would be probably the best”, was Lenalee’s reply.

“Yeah yeah~”, was the answer of the last one from the Bookman line.

They walked some more until Lenalee suddenly discovered something.

“Look! There’s a circus!” she shouted and ran some more and pulled Allen with her. Lavi was right behind her.

In front of the big top they came to a halt. They looked at it. It was definitely not brand new but it did its use. The big top seemed kind of familiar for Allen. Lenalee had forgotten that Allen did live in a circus in his past and now she was afraid if that would trigger some memories… mostly concerning his adoptive father.

“Allen, I...” she tried to apologize but she did not continue.

She saw that he was not listening to her. He was already reliving some memories.  
And now things were quite chaotic for the exorcist.

Allen’s “father” was the brother of a Noah and Allen was the host of said Noah. The millennium earl was after that Noah and wanted to revive him and now…  
Slowly a tear ran down his check.

“Mana”, he whispered, but the others did hear him.


	4. Two strangers?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this new chapter :D  
> If you like it give it a kudos or a comment :D

Slo wly a tear run down his cheek. 

“Mana”, he whispered. Even tough he said it so quietly the others did hear him.

 

Rapidly, Allen wiped his tears with his right hand away, so that there was no trace of any left. Somehow that circus had something nostalgic on it and soon the white haired boy will know why.

 

“Mana? I think I have already heard that name somewhere. He seems kind of familiar...”, one could hear a female voice behind the exorcists.

The trio turned around and saw who said that. It was a young woman she was maybe one year older than Lenalee and about her height.  Her hair was long, it ended on her hip. It was black and her eyes were green. Her skin was pale and that was not a surprise. In England, there were rarely some tanned people. It was a rather mild climate.

Her eyes had some make up on it but it was decent and with the help of a lipstick she turned the colour of her lips reddish. She wore long dark trousers and a black top. Over it she wore a big sweatshirt but her left shoulder was left bare. She was slim. In general she was quite the pretty woman. Lavi let some “Strike!” off.

 

Next to her was a young man who was a little older than her by some years. He wore long brown trouser and a white shirt and over it a brown jacket. He looked quite normal. Not really handsome but not ugly. He looked quite fit. One thing that could be annoying or remarkable was th at he seemed arrogant, vain and quite self-confident. It was really obvious that he was annoyed of something. The girl however looked friendly and had warm smile on her face. She was so to speak the complete opposite of Kanda.

 

As Allen looked to them he became stiff. His hands began to tremble but no one noticed it.

 

“That name... Mana. He seems really familiar, don't you think so too Cosimov?”, the girl asked the boy.

“Pah! How should I know that brat and why should I care how some slowcoach is called? And of it is familiar? Who cares? I don't!”, was his answer.

“Please ignore him. He is just some idiot who does not know his manner”, the girl tried to apologize for the rude boy.

Allen however seemed to get paler by every second.

“Everything alright?”, she asked and looked concerned to Allen and scrutinized him.

The white haired boy however looked to the man and asked a little shocked: “Y-Y-You ar-are C-Cosimov... Cosimov the c-c-clown, r-right?”

 

Interested the brown haired man looked towards Allen and said: “Wow? You know me? I knew I had a good reputation! I mean who does not know the brilliant me?!? You are probably a fan of me. I can understand it... but I would like it more if you were not. I mean look at you. How old are you? 16? And you have got white hair and some scar in your face. You are a freak. You could actually work in the circus for a freak show! Hahaha! But something like that I won't call my fan. But if it were the green haired girl I would not have anything against it... But you can't choose your fans! Hahaha!”

Totally confident of himself he laughed.

“Cosimov!”, the girl shouted but the man ignored her.

Allen did not really seem to care what the clown said to him. Now he looked to the girl. Allen looked kind of scared.

“A-And you are ...S-Sarah?”

And then Cosimov stopped his laughing and looked  closer to Allen.

“That you know me is no miracle. But her?!?! I wonder every time that the other workers from the circus does know her name. Really. She is a nobody! “, shouted the man.

“Don't be so rude, Cosimov”, was the girl's answer. She was getting angry.

 

Suddenly the girl remembered: “Now, I know who that Mana was. He was that clown who worked here some years ago. He had that little dog. And you was soooo jealous if him, Cosimov. Because he was more popular than you. Do you remember Cosimov?”

 

Now the man did not say anything. Now Sarah scrutinized Allen, again.

And then she said: “Cosimov... That boy he seems familiar...”

 

But now he did say something: “Really? I would remember such a freak. I mean look at him! White hair, scar on his face and such a weird coat. Such an idiot... you can't forget someone like him! He is  soo noticeable!”

 

Suddenly the girl walked towards Allen and mumbled: “I know you..”

Allen was frozen on the spot. He could not move any muscle. It was as if he was paralysed with fear. Never had he thought that he would be in such a situation.

The girl laid her hands on his face and forced him to look into her eyes. She covered his left eye and his scar with her right hand.

 

“I knew that I knew you... You are it, right.... Red?”, she asked cautiously.

Cosimov had to cough and starred towards Allen: “Red? Ah! You are that brat! That stupid Mana took you with him!”

 

Lenalee and Lavi looked confused towards Allen who was quite shocked.

 

“Don't you dare to speak of Mana in such a...

WHO GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO SPEAK OF HIM LIKE HE WAS THE PEST!!!” Allen shouted and he clearly had lost his composure.

 

Shocked everybody looked towards him. Neither Lavi nor Lenalee had him seen ever like that.

 

“Just shut up”, was Cosimov's answer.

 

Allen would have really like to run to that idiot and bear him up, as a revenge to what he had done to him in the past. He hated Cosimov. But it was clear that Cosimov  returned that feelings.

 

“Red.. What did happen to you? Why are your hair white and that scar..?”, Sarah asked curious.

 

Allen tried to calm down his self and answered monotone: “I don't want to talk about it... Maybe some other time?”

 

She only nodded. She pouted and said: “I liked your brown hair more...”

 

Allen had to grin. Cosimov however did only roll his ey es. That was going on his nerves. He did not have to meet Red ever. He could have gone without it. Even the past that brat was a nuisance. But he also was kind of curious about that freak's hair, scar and that, for him, weird uniform.

 

“Is your.. arm healed or is still so...”, Sarah asked friendly.

 

Allen grabbed with his right hand the sleeve of his lift arm and formed a fist with the cloth in it.

 

He answered but it seemed like his mind was somewhere else:” It is still so... well not normal. But not that red any more. It changed. It grew darker... But it got better. And now I know why my left arm is so different.”

 

Sarah looked questioning toward him.

 

“What did you do in all the time?”, Allen asked with a smile and ignored her questioning look.

 

That side of him... Sarah did not know. It was unfamiliar. She knew him from their past and then he was never... he was never like that. Everything seemed kind of weird.

Never the less she responded to his smile and embraced Allen and whispered: “I've missed you Red.”

 

The exorcist could not avoid that his cheeks turned red. Then he heard a familiar voice behind him. It was Lenalee.

“Allen, who are these people? And what does she mean with 'Red'?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man Cosimov, you charming boy~ :P  
> You can visit me on itsbrambles.tumblr.com and send me a request for any fandom. I will be writing some drabbles. But you can also ask me some questions, if you have one.


	5. The one who killed Allen

But suddenly he heard a familiar voice, it was Lenalee's.  
“Allen who are these people? And what do they mean with this 'Red'?”

And then there was silence, again. If Allen was to be honest, he did forget that Lenalee and Lavi were still there with him. It was kind of a surprise that he met someone from his past life. Something like that did he never expect.

Expectantly, the green haired girl looked towards the cursed exorcist. She was really curious and wanted to know the answers. Of course she had already observed these strangers. The girl was really beautiful, that was also the same thought of Lavi according to his “Strike!”. But somehow she did not really like it very much that such a pretty girl knew Allen. And it also seemed like she was kind of important to him. She was not some ordinary friend. She did not really say anything concerning his outer appearance unlike that Cosimov. He seemed to be far from friendly. But it was also most likely that he and Allen were not the best friends. But there was something that did bother Lenalee and Lavi very much. Why did they call Allen 'Red'?  
What did that mean..?

“Hey Allen! Who is that? Don't ya wanna introduce us? Or are you lost in ya memories because of your little girlfriend?”, Lavi teased.  
“Sh-She is not my girlfriend! Only a… an old acquaintance...”, was the white haired's response with a light blush on his face.

Sarah, the black haired one, did felt like a stab through her heart. 'Only an old acquaintance', these words hurt her. They felt so distant… but it was most likely that they never were more than that. But nevertheless… she thought of him as someone important. She did kind of wish he would use something that would imply a more intimate relation that she was an important friend from his past but… wait… did these two not calls him 'Allen'?

Cosimov did not really care. He was surprised that his old rival was still alive or that he had to meet him here but well… He did not believe in something like fate… Everything was just a mere coincidence. But the name 'Allen' did prick up his ears.

“Allen…? What does you mean with 'Allen'? Why do you call him like that? His name is Red after all”, said Sarah.

Lavi and Lenalee looked towards her with a confused expression on their faces. What did all this mean?

“Allen..?”, Cosimov muttered under his breath.  
That name was awfully familiar. But he did not know how. The brown haired man thought about it. He had heard that name somewhere. But where?

“Red?? That's no name! His name is Allen. You can ask him it yourself!”, Lenalee stated.

Questioning Sarah looked towards the white haired boy. Actually, everybody except maybe Cosimov waited for his answer.   
Bookman junior was really keen to know the answer. One did not know very much of Allen's life. Only that Mana did pick him up from the streets and the two of them were wandering around until the point when Mana died and Allen brought him back to life and Allen then met the Millenium Earl for the very first time. After that it was only known that Marion Cross did take him in as an apprentice and well… one could imagine what happened then. It was not a time the white haired boy liked very much. He was remembered of poker then and that brought his 'dark side' as Lavi called it. 

Suddenly Cosimov raised his voice: “Now I remember why that name 'Allen' seemed so familiar. In those time… I did something to Allen… Well… I did kill that bastard. Uh… so it's Allen, huh?!?”  
And then an evil laugh followed his statement.

Shocked Lavi and Lenalee looked towards the man who did say that. Sarah only looked surprised to him. She did not really understand what was going on.   
The green haired exorcist turned to the future Bookman and whispered to him: “W-W-What does he mean with that, Lavi?”

Still shocked Lavi observed the man and whispered back: “I don't know. It's rarely a thing known of what happened to Allen before Mana. The old panda and me… we wanted to do some researches because… well he is the destroyer of time after all… but there was not really a thing about him to discover… It was really odd...”

Incapable to utter only a word Lenalee starred towards Allen. What did that mean? The green haired girl felt how tears were about to spill. That was all so strange! And she noticed how little she actually knew of here so called friends. And who knows what this weirdo Cosimov meant with that!  
She held back the tears. Now was definitely not the time to cry. She rather should find out what was actually going on.   
Allen scratched himself on his head and said: “I ehm… actually… I think that you understand that kind of wrong… Cosimov meant another Allen...”  
“Another Allen?!”, was Lenalee, Lavi and Sarah's response.  
But then Cosimov once again raised his voice and said: “Ohhh! Isn't that cute?? He named himself after it. You didn't like your own name?!?!”  
And again he laughed.

Allen however only shoot darts at him. The one that was directed to looked straight towards him. You could really feel the suspense. It was even worse than between Kanda and Allen.   
“Allen… could you maybe… explain everything?”, Lavi tried.  
Sarah also wanted to know the whole truth.

Allen sighed and explained:” Before Mana and me wandered around I lived in a circus. That was also where I met Sarah and Cosimov. But Cosimov and me did not like each other very much. And I was generally avoided because of my left arm. It was not ordinary after all. Well Sarah was kind of the exception. Despite everything she was nice to me… But to that time I was… well more like a grumpy Kanda I guess? And the people called me 'Red' because of my arm. I did not and still don't know my birth name. I don't remember the time before the circus. I...I was picked up by it. I was found lost and alone on the streets. I have done some small errands for the circus and they gave me a place to sleep and something to eat. And someday Mana appeared together with a little dog. That was 'Allen'. The one who killed Allen that time was Cosimov and he only did that because Mana was a more popular clown than him. And well… Allen was kind of my first friend… And some time Mana called me Allen and then I stuck to it...”

After he explained that, there was once again silence. But then Lenalee said: “Allen-kun...I … I didn't know that… you...” But she stopped.   
She did not really know what to say. The same counted for Lavi. And it was rare for Lavi not to know what to say. He did not expect something like that. 

Sarah walked some steps towards him and said: “I… I am really sorry for what Cosimov has done. He really is an incorrigible human… But someday he has to atone for the bad things that he has done. Especially for the things that he has done to you. You know what? I am also going to call you Allen! That's a really beautiful name and I am really happy that you are fine… I really thought that I had lost you forever… and that I would see you never again...”

Allen as well walked some steps towards the black haired girl and suddenly embraced her. Lenalee tensed up as she saw that. Even Lavi was surprised. Cosimov looked towards that 'spectacle' in an apathetic manner.

“I am just very happy that you survived that… Sarah”, Allen whispered to her.  
What he did not see was that the black haired girl blushed because of the sudden closeness of her old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you got any questions concerning this story or you have any requests for a drabble or so contact me on tumblr:  
> itsbrambles.tumblr.com


	6. Thoughts and conversations

What he did not see was that the black haired girl blushed because of the sudden closeness between her and her old friend. But Lenalee and Lavi did see that. The green haired exorcist felt kind of strange as she observed that. She did not really know what to think of that reaction. Should she get mad? Should she be happy for Allen that he was happy and met some lost friend? And it was not like Lenalee did not like Sarah. She seemed like a nice friendly young woman unlike that Cosimov. She would like it if he was not there. At best not near Allen. That was he has done to the white haired exorcist was unforgivable. And it was most likely that the brown haired bully has done more things to Allen that made him suffer than the cursed boy was willing to share.   
It would not be that much of surprise if Lenalee and Sarah would be becoming friends. But there was still that uneasy feeling on Lenalee's side. At the moment she would not be able to talk with the other woman freely.

Lavi in the meantime had some other thoughts. He wondered what Allen meant when he said that he was happy that they had survived. He was a little bit confused because of that statement.  
It seemed that Allen had not been in contact with his past. You could even see that. It seemed like that when Allen left the circus together with Mana that he had cut all his ties with his past. The last time that he had seen Sarah and Cosimov was some years ago. May be even a decade. And it was only logical to think something grave or terrifying did happen if Allen was happy that they had survived. And because he did not stay in contact with his old 'friends' it was most likely that the incident occurred only shortly before he left with Mana. But what did happen that Allen thought that his acquaintances could have been dead because of that?  
Did a fire break out? That was a reasonable thought. It would not be unlikely that something like that could happen to a circus. But somehow Lavi had a feeling it was something else. That Akumas were involved. But if Akumas did appear in a circus and slaughtered the whole circus… he would have heard something… something like that was unlikely to be left unknown. He or Bookman would have heard something or any exorcist… that was really strange…  
Lavi and Lenalee contemplate some more.

Allen and Sarah in the meantime had let go of each other. Allen walked back towards to the two exorcists who looked at him pensive. Cosimov sat in some distance to the group and observed them apathetic. Sarah stood opposite from the exorcists and smiled friendly.   
“What's wrong?”, Allen asked.  
It was really weird that Lavi was so silent.   
“N-Nothing”, stuttered Lenalee.  
“Hmmm… Well.. I… Allen did something happened before you left the circus?”, asked the red haired exorcist after some time.  
Allen shuddered shortly. But then he asked, hesitantly: “What put that idea into your head?”

So… it seemed like that he had thought that Lavi and Lenalee did not notice anything. Lavi was a little indecisive concerning his answer. It seemed like the cursed exorcist did not want to answer it. It was most likely a sore subject. Lavi sighed. It was a miracle that Allen talked about his past at all. He knew only half about it if the things Allen told were true. 

“I was just wondering… You looked so relieved as you say Sarah-chan. Then I just thought something did happen. Maybe something like that you confessed your love but then she rejected you… well?!?”, Bookman junior teased.  
Inevitable the white haired teenager blushed.

“How… No and please stop talking such nonsense. Sarah and I were just… acquaintances. Besides we were only seven to that time!”, Allen defended himself. 

Lenalee was kind of afraid of the white haired boy's answer. She was scared of Allen leaving them. And she was really unsure of her feelings concerning the white haired boy. It is going to be some hard times. 

“What's the age got to do with anything? Love is timeless. The first time I fell in love was… I think I was five to that time… I had broken an arm and because of that I had to go to the hospital. And there was that nurse. She was really lovely. And she looked after me sooooo well. And bam I fell in love. She was really pretty and cute. And when I confessed my love to her she smiled sooo cutely and then she said to me that she was already engaged. But if I had been older things could have turned differently. And she was really happy that such cute boy like me fell in love with her. Well… there you have it. Even as a child I was popular and sought-after. You should learn a thing or two from me...”, Lavi told dreamily. 

“Lavi you blockhead”, Lenalee and Allen chuckled.   
The red haired teenager did hear that and asked immediately: “What?”  
The two of them only shook there heads still laughing. 

Sarah meanwhile observed the scenes that happened in front of her. Allen had changed and it seemed like he had found some good friends. She was really happy for him, 

Suddenly Allen cleared his throat and looked seriously towards Sarah and said: “It was really nice that we met you but I think this is also where we part company. We are going to leave the town soon and the circus won't be here forever too. Besides we have a job left to do and because of that we have to go.”

And then silence occurred.  
Lenalee was surprised how fast Allen wanted to be away from Sarah. She had thought that the two of them would have like it to talk some more. About their past. Lenalee would have really liked it to hear some more of Allen's childhood especially from the good times. And it did not really seemed like Allen hated the circus performer.  
Even Lavi was kind of amazed like Sarah because he also hoped that he could spend some time with Allen's childhood friends. 

Cosimov observed the scenes that happened in front of him with bored eyes. He could not just abandon them and leave. He was ordered to look after Sarah by his higher-ups. After all there was some mysterious serial killer on the run. And the circus was not really able to afford the loss of another performer. Sarah was a crowd-puller after all. She lured especially young men to the circus. She was quite pretty and really friendly but mostly she was way too naive. It was no miracle that a lot of people mostly man liked her and visited the circus.   
So there was nothing for him but to look after her and it was most likely that she did not want to leave Red so fast.   
So it was really convenient when that boy said he wanted to continue his travel or what ever. And he did not want Sarah with him. Really convenient for him. He really hoped that she would not be stubborn and follow the white haired brat even though he did not want that.  
But if Red openly said to her that she should 'piss off' than she would do so. She did so in the past and Cosimov did not think that she would do otherwise. Cosimov smirked but nobody saw it because no one paid attention to him.

“W-What do you mean?”, Sarah asked disappointed.  
“I am sorry but for the time being it will be the last time that you will see me. Maybe it will really be the last time we see each other”, Allen explained monotonously.

Now Lenalee decided to interfere. She simply could not put up with what was happening. She was terribly sorry for Sarah and something like that was quite unusual for Allen. Normally he was looking out for fellow man and paid attention to not hurting them. 

“Allen-kun.. That's kind of mean. I mean it was some many years ago that you saw each other...”, Lenalee said.  
And Lavi added: “And you don't want to move such a cute girl to tears or will you??”  
“You don't understand...”, Allen turned towards his friends looked them into their eyes and said: “… or don't you want to understand? Have you forgotten what we are?”

As a result both teenagers remained silent. They did not get immediately what Allen meant and why Allen wanted to leave Sarah as soon as possible but after some thinking they knew why. The three of them were exorcist after all and Allen was one of the few the Millenium Earl hated explicitly and wanted to be rid off. And if that Noah knew of Sarah he would most likely use her as a mean to an end. And if you are an exorcist there is a high probability that you will be attacked by Akumas.   
And how should the dark haired girl defend herself? She had no chance against such a being. Neither she nor Cosimov. They were just some normal humans after all unlike the them. They had no idea of the holy war that was taking place. 

“What do you mean with that? Allen… I… I haven't seen you in so many years…. I had no idea that you were still alive. Suddenly you weren't there… I didn't know if you had survived what happened at that time or if you were… killed by these...things…  
Do you know how it is to live in such uncertainty? I've always thought of you as a good friend… and now I am seeing you again and you're like a totally different human. I was and am really happy to see you again and you… you just want to leave??” Sarah said outraged and some tears were flowing down her cheeks. 

Reproachfully Lenalee and Lavi looked towards the white haired exorcist and he could also hear their thoughts: You made her cry.   
Despairingly Allen looked towards Sarah and he had absolutely no idea what he should do. He did not expect after all that she would start to cry...


	7. I want to stay with you

Desperately Allen looked towards Sarah and did not know what to do. He did not expect her to start crying. Every time someone started crying he did not know what to do. He felt quite helpless because Allen did not know how to comfort anybody. That was not one of his strong points.   
Allen was one of these people that did not start crying. No matter if he was hurt, sad or some other negative sentiments.  
Maybe because of relief but he avoided it to cry in front of his friends. He also did not want to show any kind of weakness in front of them. He showed them rarely any kind of hurt. He did not want them to worry over some unimportant business. He always tried to smile. Just how Mana taught him.  
But now Sarah cried and he really did not know what to do.   
He took some steps towards her Sarah looked to him with her tear-stained face and Allen stuttered: “I ehm... I am really s-sorry. I did not want to hurt you or something like that. I-I...”  
Allen stopped. He took some deep breaths. He tried to collect himself and continued with a steady voice: “It’s not like I don’t like you. You are one of the people who didn’t mistreat me in the past unlike some other people. You did not despise me for who I am or rather my appearance. You... You are a really important part of my past that I don’t want to ignore. I… You have to know that I don’t want to endanger some other humans unnecessary. In the past that didn’t matter to me but I changed. I… gained some friends that I don’t want to lose or put at any risk. I don’t want that for you. So I say it would be the best if we were to say goodbye here and now. You just go back to the circus, your home, the place where your friends live and where you can return to no matter what happens… You always said that your home is there where the people are who are most precious to you…”  
A place that I won’t have that long should the 14th awaken, Allen thought bitterly and his face expression darkened.   
Sarah wiped away her tears and looked towards Allen’s face. He did really change a lot… He was not that brat Red any longer, he was … well she did not know who he was today. Just someone different. Never the less he was one of her most important friends… and she could not afford to lose him again. It was most likely that this time it would be final.   
Suddenly the black haired girl said: “You are wrong. The circus is not that what it was in the past. The people changed. Earlier I had some friends but nowadays… everybody pretends… Everybody is just some hypocritical cheater and everyone uses everyone for himself. And the worst thing is that I am one of them! I… I never had the chance to choose for myself but now… A-Allen you’re one of my most important friends in life… properly the only friend that I have now… I just can’t lose you just like that. And I don’t care about the dangers. I just don’t want to go back there. I just can’t. I can’t endure it any longer there. Everybody is like Cosimov. Please… Please just take me with you. I won’t be a bother. I just … Just want to stay with my only friend. Pl-Please Allen… I just… just can’t lose you a second time…”  
At the end of her sentence her voice did get quieter and she had some tears in her eyes again.   
Speechless Lavi and Lenalee watched her. They did not expect something like that. Allen watched her and did not know what to do or to say.   
But he did not have to. Cosimov took one decision. He stepped between Sarah and Allen. His new archenemy.   
“Well the discussion is ending. I don’t want any problems. I don’t care what your plans are or what you’re thinking but Sarah will go back to the circus. Together with me. Whether you like it or not. “  
A bit confused Sarah and Allen looked towards him. He continued: “Don’t get me wrong. That naïve girl does not interest me. Not a bit. But I will get into trouble should I return without her. She is an important source of income after all. .. And we will return. Now. Your break was way too long.”  
Roughly he grabbed her arm and wanted to pull her to the tent. But the black haired girl resisted him. She definitely did not want to return!  
“Stop it Cosimov! I don’t want to go back! Let me go… You’re hurting me. Let me go!” she cried.  
Lenalee and Lavi actually wanted to interfere but firstly the returned their watch towards Allen. They wanted to know what he wanted to do. It was no secret that Sarah did not want to return after all. Lenalee could understand her really well. Allen was really important to her and the circus did not seem like a good place to live. She would not really like to go back there herself.  
Then Allen walked towards Cosimov and Sarah and stopped in front of them.  
He looked Cosimov in the eyes and said with a steady voice: “Let Sarah go. You heard her. She doesn’t want to go back. So let her go!”  
Surprised and grateful Sarah looked towards Allen and tried to remove herself from Cosimov’s grip but it seemed helpless. His grip was steady and determined. Lenalee and Lavi walked to them and positioned themselves behind Allen. They were not that sure if they should getting involve in that quarrel. It was something that actually only concerned Allen and it would be better if he would be handling it on his own. But nevertheless both exorcist thought that he should be getting some kind of revenge against this mean clown. After all he did to the cursed exorcist…  
“Oh… You want to stop me or what you brat?!” Cosimov asked mockingly with a raised eyebrow.  
‘Brat’ was more likely the wrong expression to describe Allan nowadays. In the last few weeks he did grow some inches and was only a little bit shorter than Cosimov. There were sometimes some moments when Allen seemed like a little boy but this moments became rather rare. He did mature a lot in the past.   
“I could easily take you on. But I would like to avoid a fight, I do not want to hurt you”, Allen explained simply.   
As a result the brown haired man laughed:” You want to stop me? Don’t make me laugh!!! You’ve got no right to choose for that pain in the butt! And what do you wanna do with her? Take her with you?”  
The white haired teenager looked defiantly towards him and told him:” She is my friend and I will help her. I am going to take her with us and then bring her to safe place where she can live happily. Far away from you and this corrupted circus!”  
“Corrupt?!?” Cosimov laughed, “That’s all ya fault after all. This happened because of you. Only this brat, the old director, his son and I survived. Times are changing. But I can’t say that it’s a change for worse. So think a little bit. It’s ya fault so don’t get involved now!”  
Shocked Allen looked towards him as the cruel pictures of that time replayed in his mind. He shook his head to get rid of this imagines.  
“That... Sarah got nothing to do with that what happened to that time! Let her go!”  
“Hmmm… I won’t back down without a fight. She is a big source of income after all!” Cosimov let her go by throwing her behind him in such a way that she fell down.  
Quickly Lenalee walked towards her and asked her if she was alright.  
Sarah nodded and smiled weakly. Lavi also walked to the two girls and helped Allen’s childhood friend to get up.  
“Well well~ you’re even more beautiful in close regard!” was Lavi’s first sentence.   
Lenalee looked towards the red haired exorcist baffled. How could he say something like that in such a dire situation? Well typical Lavi…  
Sarah blushed a little and returned a quiet:” Thank you.”  
Bookman jr smiled. “You don’t have to worry about Allen. That Cosimov is a piece of cake for him. It’s gonna be over pretty fast.”  
Doubtfully she regarded him. In the meanwhile a little fight was escalated. Again and again Cosimov tried to punch Allen but the exorcist blocked him efficiently. As the clown tried to hit him again Allen stopped his fist with his hand by grapping it. Suddenly Cosimov’s eyes widened.   
Confused Sarah, Lenalee and Lavi looked towards them. The brown haired clown was mad that he could easily evade every punch of his. Somehow Lavi and Lenalee had a bad feeling about this whole thing. Even Sarah felt that there was something going on. Something bad.   
And then things happened way too fast to react.  
There was an explosion and Sarah could only see how all of them got blown up in the air. She could also hear “Innocence activate!” Then she closed her eyes and the next thing she felt was something soft ground against her back. She felt some grass under her fingers. She was a bit confused that nothing hurt. Nothing at all. Cautiously she opened her eyes and looked into grey eyes. Over her was Allen, he was bent over her and wore a white cape.   
“Everything okay?”  
“Y-Yeah.”  
She blushed after being aware of their position. As Allen saw that she was getting red he could no restrain the blushing of his own cheeks. He stood up and helped Sarah to get up. Next to her was Lenalee and Lavi. The black haired teenager looked around and saw Cosimov not that far away from them. He laid on the ground and had his eyes closed. His face looked as if he was in pain.  
“I-Is h-he..?” Sarah stuttered. She could not bring herself to end this sentence.  
Lenalee who followed her look responded: “No. He’s okay. A little rock just him and he lost his consciousness. He isn’t hurt that bad. So don’t worry.”  
Sarah’s eyes wandered and stopped on Allen. “Is everyone okay? And you Allen? What was that explosion about? What happened?”  
She peeked between Lavi and Allen and saw that a woman who was about 20 did not stand that far away from them. She had reddish blond short hair and slightly tanned. It seemed like she belonged to the middle class of society but she only regarded them with a sinister glance.   
Suddenly some memories appeared on Sarah’s mind. She had seen this woman somewhere already.   
“I... I know this woman… She was there… yesterday. On one of our shows.”  
The woman gave her a venomous glance and out of shock Sarah staggered a bit. She thought that this woman was scary.  
“Allen, is she..?” Lavi asked.  
Suddenly it was so creepily quiet… until Allen raised his voice:” Yes.”  
Lavi and Lenalee made themselves ready to attack any moment from now on. Sarah looked inquiring towards the teenagers.   
“Allen… Who or what is that woman to be?” Sarah asked confused.   
The cursed exorcist inhaled and exhaled deeply before answering.  
“She is an akuma.”


End file.
